Trim the Fat

Trim the Fat

Sunday morning blog time, my dear friends. Sorry that I have been missing in action as of late…too many festivities surrounding my life so my apologies. Get a cup of your favourite morning beverage and have a wee snuggle with my words. 
Ahhh..take a sip. Relaxed? Good. 
I’m here to talk to you today about your beautiful life. Oh, don’t roll your eyes at me. Have you forgotten how beautiful your life truly is? 
Have you forgotten that you have come this far already? You have battled through odd upbringings, failed relationships, stagnant jobs, math class (the horror!), terrible news, deaths of loved ones, the 2016 American election…yet here you are. In this precious Sunday moment. Reading my goods. 
Do I see a small smile of knowingness on your face? 
Yes, you have triumphed through the sludge and drudges of life to end up here…with me. And these words. And, in my humble opinion, that current reality isn’t so bad. 
Oh, I know your brain. Your brain loves to jump into the past and dwell and sometimes your brain loves to worry about an unknown future. Have you ever asked yourself this…
Does that serve you or others? 
Does going over and over in your mind what someone may have done to you in the past or a past regret serve your now? No. It doesn’t. Actually, it takes you away from this Great Game called LIFE! Life is meant to be LIVED and you can only live while you are present. 
So, buck up, because I’m not telling you anything your soul doesn’t already know. 
It’s time to take the reigns and jump on because before you know it, your precious/beautiful/messed up life is going to be over. 

You don’t know when and you will be KICKING yourself if you wait to truly feel alive. 
So enough of this living in the past or worrying about the future. It’s all just make believe. Forgive yourself, forgive others and dance your dance. 
Shed and be. 
I love your faces. Go be fabulous. You owe it to yourselves. 
With love,

Lindsay Maxwell.

Flecks of Gold

Flecks of Gold

“…The kintsugi method conveys a philosophy not of replacement, but of awe, reverence, and restoration. The gold-filled cracks of a once-broken item are a testament to its history. The importance in kintsugi is not the physical appearance, it is the beauty and the importance that stays in the one who is looking at the dish…”(unknown author) 

I love this.

 I am laying here as I reflect upon my upcoming engagement party today. I’m thinking about how I got to here and now. 

I have been in a few strong relationships in my years and even though they felt right at the time, they ended in heartache. Sometimes it was me who did the heart breaking and sometimes it was I who suffered. 

It made me better, though. Just like the kintsugi method; broken but filled with gold. 

You see, throughout my 30+ years, I have longed for a beautiful connection with a significant other who could stand the test of time. I had glimpses of it and fragments as well. I was SO certain once or twice with it only to end and now a distant memory. 

But guess what? That’s ok. That was my path which led me to where I am today…about to embark on the great journey of marriage and setting up for a party to celebrate our love. 

I’m happy with my golden brokenness. The gold is beautiful and soft yet durable. Pain truly can become art. 

Remember, my beautiful friends…life is working for you and with you. Do not resist the flow. We are meant to progress. 

Enjoy your beautiful brokenness. 

With love, 

Lindsay. 

Sands of Time

Sands of Time

What I am reflective upon this morning is our time. Our accumulation of moments and things throughout our days that turn into weeks that turn into months that turn into years that turn into a lifetime.

How are we spending our time on Earth?
“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.”

(Earl Nightingale)
While you’re reading this, I wonder if you get the same quasi-anxiety that I do about time and not accomplishing things that are extremely important for me to accomplish. Do you feel like you’re doing enough or that you are enough? Are you living up to your potential?
These are the questions that go through my head on a daily basis. I was lost in thought the other day and something came to my mind. 
“Are you living up to other people’s expectations of you?”
Now, before you start on me or yourself thinking that it shouldn’t matter what other people’s opinions are, take a look deeper into my question.
Maybe our loved ones see us with supreme potential. They have a different perspective on us than we can ever have on ourselves. They don’t know our neurotic tid bits of our inner mind workings. They would never speak to us the way we speak to ourselves when we are not feeling confident (and if they do, might I suggest that you get new friends).
Are you living your life to its full potential?
If your answer is no and if you’re thinking “when I get money, then I will be.” or “When I find the love of my life, then I will be.” or “When I get more fit, more beautiful…then I will be.”….then maybe it’s time to gently shift our thinking.
Use the time that was given to you to create who you are. Expect more from yourself and play a bigger game to become a more enriched person. Do that thing that you’ve been wanting to do that you have been putting off for too long. Go on that vacation. Volunteer at that food bank. Take that yoga class. Shave off your beard even in the prime of beard fashion. Call your estranged family member and have that heart to heart.
Use your time wisely. You’ll become a more heightened and aware person if you do. And who wouldn’t want that? 
All my best wishes and confidence in you,

Lindsay Maxwell.

Silence From our Past

Silence From our Past

I was never what they considered to be a “cool kid” back in my High School days. Granted, I thought High School was going to be defined by who was the Zack Morris, the Kelly Kapowski, the Jessie Spano, the Screech, and the Slater. I was wrong. Very wrong..

At the tender age of 13 years old, I walked into my school with wide eyes and big dreams. I wanted to be friends with everyone and, for the demise of every teenager, I wanted everyone to like me. I was friendly, awkward, creative, goofy, sensitive, kind of moody, and eager.

I made nice friends and some not so nice. At that point in my life, I didn’t understand why some people were rude to me as I was rarely rude myself. I naively thought that if you put out a certain energy toward people, you were guaranteed to get it back. So, I strived to pour out all the energy that I deemed to be positive, in hopes to get that same vibe back.

It didn’t always work.

I don’t know if it’s the angst of the teenagers or the early mornings or what, but I just did not click or felt a sense of belonging. Reflecting back, I think every one of us who has entered High School has felt that on some degree.

Fast forward 20 years and here I am. A lot has changed in my psyche and the way I view life. I still have a tendency to believe that if we are all made up of the same essence (love, beauty, harmony, greatness) then why don’t we act accordingly and honour that? At thirty something years old, I am still learning that not everybody has the same heart and thought process as myself. And it’s not as though I think that I am right even 70% of the time, but I do know that what I am comprised of is lovely and I like to honour that the best way I can. We cannot expect that people would act the same way that we would in a situation. We are not carbon copies of each other. That’s what makes life interesting.

In my present day with all the experience with people I have had over the years, (trust me, it’s a lot when you are a hairstylist and an actor) I have come to this simple yet vital conclusion:

Be you. Ugh, I know. So cliche. But so true.

Be you in all your glory, ugliness, shyness, quirkiness, beauty, creativity, insecurity, moodiness, and kindness.

The best lesson that I learned from dropping the expectation that people should respond the way that you want them to respond is this:

It has NOTHING to do with you. So be you anyway. Authentically and passionately.

With love,

Lindsay.

 

Once Upon a Dream

Once Upon a Dream

Good morning, my friends. Grab whatever concoction suits your needs to read this and find your comfy spot. I’m currently writing from my cozy bed. It’s still dark out but I need to write. Enjoy. 
I had an interesting dream last night. I dreamt that I walked into a local Vancouver coffee shop and sat down and started sobbing. It was a huge release and I couldn’t stop. There was a person in there that came to me and introduced himself as “The Stranger.”
His energy was calming yet powerful. He told me to sit in the corner while he was about to show me a power point presentation of life. 
He kissed me on my forehead as I was still sobbing (it was gut wrenching-I’ll have to look into this because in my personal waking life I have absolutely nothing to be sobbing about-tears of joy, yes, but not this). He began the slideshow:
“In life we are given an empty canvas which we can co-Create with. Think about every thing that you’ve created in life…relationships, job experiences, travel, doodles, etc…”
He continued.
“Now think about all the ingredients that went into each creation. You have to add some salt to bring out the sweetness. You have to add spice. Sometimes there aren’t enough ingredients and sometimes there are too much and you don’t know where to start.”
I listened.
“The thing is though, is that for every creation you have painted onto your canvas, all the colours that you have used have been the perfectly imperfect colours to create your masterpiece. They’re all there for the taking. You just need to keep using them.”
I had stopped crying at that point and my heart started to swell with gratitude. “The Stranger” continued…
“Every achievement has a little messiness and imperfection woven within it. A great dinner is not prepared in a immaculate kitchen. There will be dishes to be washed, timers to be set, trepidation about trying a new recipe…
But the end result is a beautifully cooked meal. Just like life. 
You see, life is not going to be full of perfect moments or always happy moments. It will get messy and sometimes hectic. But the rich thing about life is that you always have the choice to clean up after yourself and take a step back and reflect.”

By the end of our coffee shop meeting I was feeling light and grateful. I thanked “The Stranger” and he told me he loved me and not to worry. He also said…”Write about this in your Blog…”
I then awoke. That was 20 minutes ago. 
So, my dear ones, “The Stranger” in my dream was quite bang on…he had a lot to offer on this fine morning. He absolutely felt like no Stranger..more like an Angel. 
This week I want us to remember that we have all the richness and beauty and access to tools to make our creations into something wonderful. Trust the process. 
You’re creating a masterpiece-your life. 
With love,
Lindsay Maxwell and credits to “The Stranger” in my dream.

Easy Like Sunday Morning

Easy Like Sunday Morning

I awoke today with lightness in my heart. It’s rare these days to feel that truly past our mid-20’s, isn’t it?

I find the older we get, the more we are “in our heads” and life just seems to pass us by.

My theory on that is when we are young, everything around us is so new and fresh to our eyes. We take in colors and songs and games like sponges. We are so in the moment because we are living with full awareness. Days seem to go on forever and we maximize our time.

Once adulthood hits, though, we withdraw into our mind. We have more responsibilities and we focus more on our past, our bills, our anxieties, and our unfolded future.

By the end of the day as an adult, we wonder where that day went and why the months and years and decades seem to speed up the older we get.

It’s because we may have lost the set of fresh eyes that we once had.

My advice, dear reader, is to always seek out new experiences and challenges. Create a life for yourself that allows you to be present in the moment. Go outside more. Study the trees swaying, look up to the clouds. It can even be as simple as switching up your radio station for your morning commute.

We have this one life (that we know of) and it will be over one day. Fill up your days with simple pleasures.

Time just may slow down a little.

With love always,

Lindsay Maxwell.

Ships that Sail and Ships that Fail

Ships that Sail and Ships that Fail

Blog time, guys and dolls! I have my usual Earl Grey tea with my usual splash of vanilla almond milk. Grab your drink du jour and let’s get on with this. 
Relationships…
Relationships are the number one topic that I discuss with people. And I would like to think that know a heck of a lot about them.
One of my careers that I have chosen to do is be a hairstylist. I am going on my 17th year of being one. (I started when I was 5…kidding.) Over those 17 years, I have developed bonds with my clients and they share their innermost thoughts, experiences, and feelings with me. I take it with great honor and respect. I will never divulge specifics (your confessions are safe with me) and I do not judge at all. There is a safety within that. A confidence which is given.
Back to it….relationships.
Men and women are very different but from what I have observed, we have similar end goals; to love and be loved. We WANT it to work out. We WANT all that romance, splendor, adventure, twitterpation, challenge, growth, connectedness and companionship.
So why is it that there are so many heartbreaks, heartaches, sad songs and Sylvia Plath-esque poetry out there?
My first instinctual response to that question of why it doesn’t work out between lovers so often is that we live in what I call “The Instant Gratification Nation.” 

People have become disposable and we have a ‘what’s next?’ attitude and our access of communication has become more digital and technological. 

Everything is literally at the tips of our fingers and special events can happen so fast these days.
Sometimes when relationships are too quick to blossom, they are usually quick to wilt.
My second instinctual response to that question is “But these events, love songs, poetry and heartbreaks have been happening since the dawn of time..not just the instant gratification nation.”
Personally, the best artwork and writing I ever created was shortly after a breakup that came out of left field. It shook my very core yet it created the most beauty I’ve ever seen in my life. 
Men and women have been butting heads since the beginning. History has proven that time and time again. 
Therefore, it’s not just a generational occurrence…
Granted, I do think that people are more quick to jump out of a relationship when it doesn’t deem to fit their needs/wants or desires anymore these days. 
People think there’s a freedom with so many choices. 
But then there are those beautiful relationships. The ones where there is that click. The foundation is friendship, trust, respect and loyalty. The ones where you know that person has your back no matter what and you have their back no matter what. Your life is brighter and more complete with them. You were perfectly content on your own but their presence in your life enriches it to a deeper level and it has more meaning and value. It has sacredness. You feel protective of your significant other and your dynamic.
I have always equated relationships to be like a smoothie from Booster Juice. You taste amazing just as you are, but the relationship is like the added Booster shot that enhances flavor and performance. The key is being ok on your own, but fully welcoming something that will coincide on a grand scale.
My former pastor said something that really resonated with me.
“If you think the grass is greener on the other side, you are not watering your own grass well enough.”
The raw truth is that in every relationship, you will have moments of where you think the grass is greener on the other side. It’s human nature. But if you just tend to your grass more in those moments, you will be amazed in how it will grow. 
Relationships are so unique, special and enthralling. They can create the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
The advice that I give my clients, friends, self , and now you is pretty consistent…
Know yourself and work on yourself first. Become your own best friend and know your needs, hearts desires and life musts. Be fulfilled with that and you will attract a like minded and suited partner who is at a healthy state as well. Do not look for someone who will be everything for you or make them your everything. That is too much expectation for one person. 
And love. Love profusely. Love deeply. Love beautifully.
Love is a verb.
Lindsay Maxwell.